Combine the coconut milk, pudding mix, and condensed milk in a large bowl. Cover the bowl and refrigerate it for 2 hours. Beat the heavy cream in a bowl until it stiffens and fold the whipped cream into the pudding mixture. Lay a third of the vanilla wafers across the bottom of a trifle bowl. Layer a third of the bananas, pudding, and crushed pineapple over the wafers and sprinkle with coconut flakes. Repeat the process twice more with a third of the ingredients in each layer. Refrigerate the dessert overnight, then serve with crushed vanilla wafers and toasted coconut garnish.

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